The Negative Voice in My Head

It takes a lot of effort on my part to get personal with my blogs. There is the fear of being judged, the fear of someone trying to tear you down, and a million other reasons. But in my life experiment I’m learning to open up in an appropriate way. I’m learning how to tell my story without tearing anyone down. My mission in life is only to bring people up. I’m not perfect, and I’m going to make mistakes, but I will tell you, that I will put all of my heart into doing my best.

So, a very real struggle I’ve been dealing with is my bad attitude in the morning. When I open my eyes the negative voices in my head start echoing so loud it’s like all I can hear are all the negative things in my life. My To Do List (TDL) starts to vibrate throughout my thoughts alongside this negative grouchy voice in my head, and it’s quite frustrating. I have been trying many things to break this habit of my mind. I just realized today, I have a bad habit of waking up in a bad mood. Nothing intentional, it’s just something that I have to work on in my adult life, as I am working on breaking the paradigm of my past.

Here are some things I have tried to break this habit, or change this automatic state in the morning.

1. Review my day backwards in my head, and highlight the good points of my day

2. Write a gratitude list before I go to bed to prompt myself for good dreams and a good morning wake up

3. Pray in the morning, and say a quick gratitude

4. Listen to positive affirmations in the morning

And to be honest, I wasn’t getting the result I wanted. I have what I call most nights anxiety dreams. Unfortunately, since I can remember, I have been plagued with nightmares, and anxiety dreams, and I remember my dreams even in my adulthood. So, when I wake up, and that crazy dream is fresh on my mind, most times I have to put effort into changing my state. But now writing this, it looks like I’ve just been treating the symptom (waking up in a bad mood) and not the problem, why do I have bad dreams? My brain has learned that survival mode is normal (it’s not). But now, it’s time to change that! We are updating the software of my brain, it’s time for an upgrade!

Thank God for people like Dr. Joe Dispenza which have brought light to the “plasticity of the brain” or in other words, our very real ability to change and grow our brains in a progressive way. And what’s even cooler is it’s done through meditation. Which brings me to my next suggestion, meditate. I meditate every day, without skipping a beat b/c of this. We humans are powerful creatures, and one of the hardest things to do is sit with ourselves for 5 mins in silence. But doing this, at least for me, has changed my life in a positive way. Everyone has 5 mins.

Negative thoughts are different for everyone, but they usually come from bad habits of past pattern thinking, along-side the born desire to stay alive and stay away from things that might kill us. My negative voices start in the morning, but are stemmed from bad dreams, which come from a life of what’s the next bad thing that is going to happen? I am working on breaking that pattern, and living in the solution. It’s taken me a lot of effort to get here.

Many years of reading, praying, meditating, practicing, failing, experimenting, and I’m still learning. I still haven’t figured it out. But I’m living in action of solving this problem in my life, and then sharing the shortcut with you. My whole purpose of this blog is to upgrade my mindset, and then share it with you, the seeking bee, putting the effort into creating a better life for yourself. This might not help everyone, but if it helps anyone then I am winning.

I wish I was here writing you, telling you that I have figured it all out, but I haven’t. But, I have loosen the knot. When I woke up in a bad mood this morning, I grabbed my phone and played my recorded voice saying positive affirmations about my life, then I played it again. The negative voice wasn’t gone, but it wasn’t as “loud”. Then I said aloud one of my favorite scientific prayers by Paul Murphy, and it goes like this.

“I am now writing in my subconscious mind, the idea of God’s wealth. God is the source of my supply, and I know that God is the light principle within me, and I know that I am alive. And all my needs are met at every moment of time, and point of space. God’s wealth flows freely, joyously, and ceaselessly into my experience. And I give thanks, for God’s riches, forever circulating into my experience.”

And finally, silence. I smiled at the peace in my mind, and got up out of bed. And I thought to myself what Steve Harvey said (paraphrasing), your mind isn’t good or bad, it is what you tell it to be. When you tell the conductor of your mind “we 'bout to have a good day” then the mind puts in place the necessary energy to have a good day. Although, I was frustrated with my automatic setting of wake up in a bad mood, I am grateful to be present enough to be aware of myself, and my patterns at this point of my life.

So, here is my challenge to you. When you first open up your eyes, and turn off our alarm, listen to your thoughts. Are they good, are they complaining about the day before it’s even started? What are they? Please share them, and share your tips on what you do to start your day off right! If you love this weekly dose of positivity, please share it with your friends, and remember that you too can...


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